He Isn't Mine
by kisescryingface
Summary: Unrequited love. Haizaki's POV.


**Author's note:**

**SO MANY FEELS** FROM SEASON 3!

Because Haizaki is _severely_ misunderstood.

Because this is my **guilty** OTP. Sorry Aomine.

* * *

><p><span><strong>The Past<strong>

He would _frown_ at the sight of him.

He would _scowl_ whenever he was forced to look him in the eye.

He would _spit out harsh words_ whenever he had to get a point across.

He would _fidget uncomfortably_ in his presence, wishing he was anywhere else but near him.

It couldn't be more obvious that Kise **_hated_** Haizaki.

But the same couldn't be said for Haizaki.

The hateful look that Kise often gave him did little to throw him off. In fact, it made Haizaki enjoy taunting him even more. Because as it is, this was the only way they could communicate with each other. It was a _special_ thing between the two of them.

The carefree blonde caught his eye as soon as he started practicing with the first string. Initially, he didn't think Kise was the kind of person he could get along with. In fact, there wasn't really any person that Haizaki had ever gotten along with. He probably spent more time at the video game arcade then at school anyway.

Haizaki couldn't be bothered at all to attend the daily practice matches. He always found them to be dull and a total waste of time. But when Kise started practicing with them, Haizaki started to show up more often too.

Kise was clearly infatuated with the team's power forward, Aomine Daiki. Haizaki rolled his eyes whenever he overheard Kise begging for a one-on-one with Aomine, as cheesy as that may sound. Someone had mentioned earlier that Kise only joined the team because he admired Aomine. It was a remark that didn't sit well with Haizaki. The arrogant power forward is always pointing out his faults despite being just as bad as he is and now he has to deal with the fact that all of Kise's attention is wasted on the said idiot.

He had secretly hoped that Kise would beat Aomine so that he can get over his stupid crush quickly. After all, the blonde seemed to have a lot of potential in him having surprised everyone by getting into the first string within two freaking weeks. It would be great if he could move on to the next best thing. _Haizaki_.

Unfortunately, Aomine turned out to be quite the force of nature. Kise couldn't beat Aomine and his hopeless infatuation remained.

Haizaki had been watching Kise all this while but the small forward never once looked his way. Even if he did, it was as if he was looking right through Haizaki. Hell, Kuroko of all people seemed to have more presence than him on Kise's radar! If Kise wasn't pestering Aomine for a one-on-one, he would be following Kuroko around like a sick, wounded puppy. It often got onto Haizaki's nerves that the blonde would have such a narrow view of his surroundings.

As hard it is to believe, Haizaki always thought of himself to be very similar with Kise. Basketball was just something to do since they both have a natural talent for it. It also made Haizaki's report card look good enough to make up for his poor academic grades. Kise seemed just as bored with life as Haizaki and basketball seemed to be the perfect sport for them to past the time. He never really bought the idea of Aomine being the main reason Kise started playing basketball. Kise was clearly in this because he is a brat who hates losing to others. It was a feeling that Haizaki could understand pretty well.

Kise's attitude is just as bad as Haizaki's and his pretty face was the only redeeming factor. Yes, _that_ flawless face. Physically, Kise is ridiculously attractive without even trying. Truly as expected of a model. Even while sweating buckets from the grueling practice matches, he still glowed with radiance.

During their practice matches, Haizaki enjoyed purposely knocking Kise over or running into him to snatch the ball away from him. That was the only way he could ever get close enough to Kise, to feel his smooth skin against his own and if he was daring enough to smack the blonde's head, he'll get to run his fingers through his soft, silky hair as a bonus. At one time, Kise had pushed him hard against the wall telling him to 'cut it out' and 'play fair'. It was a painful but sweet experience having the blonde's face so close to his that he was almost tempted to taste those trembling, seductive lips if the others weren't already giving him the death glare.

Now Haizaki spends most of his time fooling around with girls so at first, it bothered him that he was _slightly_ attracted to a guy but then again, Kise is a _special_ case and he quickly got over it. When Kise started making guest appearances in his wet dreams, Haizaki would wake up fully refreshed and ready to take on the day with the real thing.

He wondered if Kise should try out to be an actor too one day. Haizaki could totally tell that the spoiled, whiny brat demeanor was all an Oscar-winning act to do away from being called out to be the nasty being that he truly is. Kise had another side to him that he never showed to the others but it was a side that Haizaki is all too familiar with as he was the one to bear the brunt of it.

He didn't know when he started to become the sole target of Kise's nasty streak but Haizaki was more than fine with it. _Finally_, he had Kise's full attention, albeit not the kind he had hoped for.

Now Haizaki would rather get hit by a bus first before admitting that he had always wanted a friend. Coming from a broken family with a lousy upbringing only made him distrust the people around him as he couldn't relate very well with others. He had tried to get along with the talented bunch of colourful heads only to be turned away quickly whenever he approached their table during lunchtime. They would insult him for tasting their food but Aomine would do the exact same thing and receive no further comment. It was simply _not_ fair.

But Kise was one of a kind.

He was _special_ to Haizaki.

He could put a kitten into a microwave and Haizaki would still think that Kise is the most _adorable_ thing in the world.

His smile would light up the gym and the sound of his laughter would lift up everyone's spirits. Everyone _loved_ him. The seniors would constantly rave about how amazing Kise's bottomless talent is and Akashi is already eyeing him to be one of the chosen ones.

There was also his charming cockiness that others would love to hate but could not. He had this ridiculously high self-esteem and oozes confidence in a slightly annoying manner. He could pull a crowd's attention towards him with minimal effort and was never afraid to take reckless measures without giving any thought to the consequences. This was evident when he gloated about how he was better than Haizaki in basketball despite never facing him in a one-on-one match.

"I can't beat the other four but if it is Shougo-kun, I can _definitely_ beat you down," Kise challenged him one day.

A _–kun_ before his first name? Didn't he at least deserve that ugly-sounding –_cchi_ that he often used to call out his annoying friends?

But he couldn't care less about formalities as it was good enough that Kise is finally talking to him directly after having had to hear all his hurtful, side remarks about being a better basketball player than Haizaki.

Kise had that smug look on his face, the kind of look he gave to people he has no respect for. It wasn't some kind of innocent challenge. He was clearly being set up for a shameful defeat by Kise. Regardless of the results, he knew that it will still be a win-win situation for Kise. He will still get all the praise and glory because he can never do any wrong to everyone's eyes. That was why Haizaki thought that it would do no harm to bring his best game forward and prove his prowess to Kise.

Despite his win, the insults still came his way for being too hard on _poor_ Kise. As expected, there was an overwhelming wave of sympathy for Kise and excuses were quickly made on his behalf to justify his loss.

It was perfect timing that Kise's ex-girlfriend walked in looking for him to teach Kise a lesson called humility. He mocked Kise for his defeat and had a good laugh over it.

There is _no way_ Kise could ignore his existence from that day onwards.

But the feel-good moment didn't last for very long. Of course the _others_ would get in his way.

Citing his violent nature as a dumb excuse, he was ordered to quit the team by Akashi. It was an absolute order that he couldn't defy. He could have hurt Akashi really bad for the unfair dismissal but then he remembered that Akashi had the former's captain's backing, the only other person Haizaki is terrified of.

It could be for the best anyway as he felt that he had already reached his peak while the other Teikou basketball idiots kept growing stronger. After having emptied his locker, he was only left with the basketball shoes that he no longer had any use for. He thought that it would be satisfying to watch them burn into nothingness.

It was in the school corridor on his way to the incinerator that he encountered the last person he wished to see during his lowest point. Kise looked just as surprised with the chance encounter that it hurt Haizaki inside when he thought of how this could be the very last time he could exchange words with Kise. After all, they never really had any reason to talk with each other if it wasn't about basketball or some pointless argument over some random thing.

"Congratulations Ryouta. I've quit the basketball team so you can take my place now. My locker is all _yours_ now too," he growled at the unfazed blonde.

Kise only threw him a look of sympathy without saying a single word which infuriated Haizaki even more.

"You bastard. Don't think you have won. You have _never_ won against me," he blurted out in anger. "Your so-called friends may make _me_ out to be the bad guy but _they_ are the truly bad ones."

Kise looked like he was about to say something in protest but held himself back, turning the other way instead and walked away, acting as if the encounter had never happened which added more salt to Haizaki's gaping wound.

He probably stood there in the empty corridor a broken man for quite some time before he remembered what his original mission was.

Haizaki watched his shoes burn in the incinerator along with his hopes and dreams. He was especially irritated with how Kise didn't even say a single word for him as he had at least expected some sort of smug remark from the blonde now that he has won.

Then it suddenly hit him that this was the first time Kise had actually looked at Haizaki in the eye and not pick a fight with him. That alone was _already_ an act of kindness.

_Damnit Ryouta, just how cruel can you be? How am I supposed to hate you now? _

If there was any hope with the self-proclaimed "Generation of Miracles", it was in the form of their most forgettable member, Kuroko.

"Kise-kun told me you would be here. Why did you quit Haizaki-kun? You have such talent—"

_Because Akashi forced me to._

"I'm sick of basketball. Hanging out with girls is much better than being with a bunch of sweaty guys."

"Is that what you really think?"

_Of course not dumbass. I'll pick time with Ryouta over everything else._

"I don't need any of your misplaced pity. You guys who remain will need it more than I do."

_Ryouta especially._

Haizaki was indeed right on his predictions that the team's success had started to get into their heads. He may not have anything to do with the basketball team anymore but he was always there to watch the matches, only because Kise was there. Deep inside, he knew that Akashi was right about Kise being the better choice for the team. It wasn't that he was mad at the captain for forcing him to retire as the anger stemmed more from having to leave the team and thus, leave _Kise_. The basketball club was the only place he could ever get Kise's attention and now that he is no longer there, he'll never get the opportunity anymore.

It was already impossible to catch the sight of the blonde in school since they don't have the same classes and if he wasn't walking through the school corridors with a flock of girls all around him, he would be at the basketball court, a place that is now off-limits to Haizaki.

In due time, he watched the team win tournaments without breaking a sweat but it was also becoming obvious that they are _losing_ in their personal relationships. It gave Haizaki satisfaction that Aomine's explosive growth has now deemed Kise's mission to beat him impossible and that was also the beginning of a time when he came to see another side of Kise. A side he had never expected from such a confident, out-going person. The sad, defeated look was never a good look on Kise and it made Haizaki's blood boil thinking of how the team has sucked the life out of Kise and drive him into such distress.

Towards their graduation, Kise became a rare sight in school much to Haizaki's dismay. It seemed that he had been skipping practices in favour of modeling and surprisingly, Akashi couldn't even care less. As long as they kept on winning tournaments, everyone is free to do whatever they like, he heard. It sucks that he now had to pay money to buy those useless magazines for a rare glimpse of a Kise smiling for the camera but it was well _worth it_.

It hit him again of how they are not that much different.

Kise is _exactly_ like him.

They both craved a sense of belonging and Kise's desire was to be with those basketball idiots, especially with that asshole ganguro.

It was just Haizaki's bad luck to be occupying that one spot that Kise desired so much.

* * *

><p><span><strong>The Present<strong>

Despite the painful memories from his basketball days during junior high, Haizaki still joined the basketball team of his high school. As expected, he got into the starting team in no time and those awful memories of his past began to fade as his mind was completely taken over by basketball once again.

At least, up until that fateful day when his team was going to go against Kaijou High for a spot in the Winter Cup semi-finals.

He knew that he will face Kise sooner or later but he didn't expect the time to go as quickly as it did. He had watched the latter's earlier matches and noticed an improvement in both his skills and his attitude. His flamboyant personality seemed to have been toned down as a result of brain damage inflicted by the kicks from his grumpy senpai and it was starting to look as if Kise is finally playing for the team as opposed to in the past when they were more concerned with keeping tabs on who can score the most points.

He had told his team that he couldn't be bothered to warm up with them before the match and had gone out from the stadium to calm his nerves as the thought of seeing Kise again brings him great joy and sorrow at the same time.

Nothing distracts his mind better that the sight of a hot chick in the company of losers.

The situation simply went out of hand when the fair lady refused his friendly advances and the guys she was with started to get very hostile. He finally found release when he gave the prettier guy a nice kick in the gut and was going to offer the same treatment to the other red-head if he wasn't interrupted by the nostalgic presence of an old flame.

"You sure have some nerve Ryouta…"

"He has a grudge against me because I took his place when Akashi forced him to quit—" Kise explained to the losers who turned out to be his new friends before turning back to Haizaki with that all-too-familiar despised look. "I'm surprised to see you here Shougo-kun. Are you here for revenge?"

_I'm here because I wanted to see you so badly Ryouta._

"It has nothing to do with revenge— I'm just killing time."

He thought that it was a good match. His own teammates may look down on his underhanded techniques but they too couldn't say no to an easy victory. Their early encounter had fired up Haizaki's determination to prove himself to Kise even more. If he wouldn't acknowledge Haizaki early on outside the stadium, then the court is the best place to show Kise that he didn't deserve such a cold treatment.

His team had an easy lead up until the last quarter and it gave Haizaki chills when he finally triumphed over _Kaijou's_ Kise. Seeing Kise drop down to his knees was a satisfying sight. Haizaki was dominating him, just like old times. That's how it should _always_ be.

It irritated him that his team still received jeers from the crowd despite playing so well against Kaijou High but he had expected this kind of treatment when Kise is the opponent. The universe bends in favour of Kise and Haizaki was absolutely fine with it.

Again Kise fell into a slump after failing to block Haizaki's consecutive dunks that Haizaki _almost_ felt sorry for him. Had he punished Kise enough? Had Kise gotten the message? He couldn't care less that they were still in an on-going match as he began to lecture Kise on how pathetic he has become. Kise had changed but _nothing_ changed between the two of them. It _wasn't_ right.

"You were on the ground like this too when I stole your girlfriend and dumped her after doing her—"

_She was in my way Ryouta. She doesn't deserve you._

A voice from the crowd snatched Kise's attention away from Haizaki. How dare that bastard Kuroko interrupt them just as he was starting to get through to Kise. Whatever nonsense Kuroko had shouted out to Kise, it sparked a fire in him.

"Don't get so cocky Shougo-kun."

And without warning, Kise began to pull out the moves of his former basketball team members using his copying abilities. If there was any moves he could not steal, it was the trademark moves from the Generation of Miracles. In his panic, he failed to regain his composure and let the sudden turn of events get the better of him.

_Did you think I didn't notice that your leg is hurting you?_

Nothing about Kise could escape Haizaki. His eyes would follow every single move that Kise would make ever since he introduced himself to the Teikou basketball team as a new member. That night was no different. As soon as he laid eyes on Kise outside the stadium, he had studied all the changes in Kise after having not seen him in person for ages. His good looks seemed to have no limits, there was the odd left ear piercing and the overwhelming aura of confidence he had lost when the Teikou team fell apart have returned stronger than ever. He knew that Kise had gotten better in basketball and would have put in all his effort to defeat Haizaki if his overworked left leg wasn't being a bother.

But it was also this impulse to not look like a total loser in front of Kise that made Haizaki find no other way but to use Kise's weak point for his _own_ benefit. There was not much time left and he had to produce the winning score no matter what.

He has to end it.

He has to _win_.

So he could finally prove his _worth_ to Kise.

"You're not the one who's going to win. It's me," Kise said into his face as he stole the ball from Haizaki before sprinting off into the opposite direction to score the final win for his team.

Haizaki has lost.

He stole a glance towards Kise and saw him beaming towards the crowd, directing a victory punch to his _friends_. In his celebratory mood, he didn't even once turn back to Haizaki to commend him for a good game.

He has _completely_ lost Kise.

The crushing defeat repeated itself in his head long after the game was over when almost everyone else had gone home. But Haizaki stayed, glaring at the entrance hoping to catch a glimpse of Kise. This was his _last_ chance to have a word with Kise.

Kise _needs_ to know how Haizaki truly felt for him.

The rage in him must have been so strong that he failed to notice that Aomine had been right behind him all this while trying to put up an act as the gallant knight in shining armour.

"If you're thinking of taking revenge on Kise, give up."

_You fool. This isn't about revenge._

"Like I give a shit. I can do whatever I want."

"Don't do anything stupid," Aomine warned him.

_I only want to take what's mine. I don't care if I have to take it by force. Ryouta is mine._

"I told you, I don't give a shit. If you want me to give up, you better do it by force."

And force was what he _received_.

It was a hard punch onto the left side of his face, enough to almost knock him out as he hit the cold surface of the hard floor.

He didn't know what he had done in his previous life to receive this bad karma. He was too tired to retaliate after having spent all his energy on the basketball court. He'll let that bastard Aomine go, just this one time.

Afterall, Aomine had done that to save Kise.

To save Kise from being tainted by him.

Because unlike him, Kise deserved _better_.

It was a lost cause trying to bring Kise into his world no matter how hard he tried.

_We're fundamentally different._


End file.
